147 146 “ As an individual I have always been a very private person. I have never shared anything with anyone in my family. My friends only know what I choose to tell them and I have constantly felt a dark void inside myself. But on the outside, you would never know because I feel I hide it so well, with the biggest and brightest smile. Even though I am surrounded by so many people who I love, I can never be vulnerable to anyone. There came a certain point in my life where I just had to talk to someone because I felt like this part of my life was affecting me on a daily basis – affecting how I see the joy in the world. ” ~Anonymous Student~ Chapter Seven: What Faculty and Staff Can Do Chapter Seven: What Faculty and Staff Can Do IT’S OKAY TO BE NOT OKAY At Stanford University, there is a colloquial term “Stanford Duck Syndrome”. It describes those students who appear to glide over water effortlessly like a duck, but underwater, they are paddling frantically. This is how stressful some students are. They look around and get frightened and when seeing everyone else appear carefree and manage everything well. They think that really smart people do not work so hard, nor struggle like themselves. They then start to perceive themselves as weak and incompetent. At the University of Pennsylvania, where perfectionist culture prevails, students put on a “Penn Face” to hide their emotions, stress, or sadness and pretend to be fine. Attempts were made by the student leaders, who are with the perfect Penn Faces, to reveal the reality by sharing about the challenges they face, their vulnerabilities and their failures. You may help giving a realistic picture to students that in fact everyone is as stressed but most of them conceal their struggles, and that people are not perfect. There are Facebook closed groups like “Stanford University Places I’ve Cried” and “University of Illinois Places I’ve Cried” which show that it is very common for students to be vulnerable and it is okay to have disappointments and failures. “You may help giving a realistic picture to students that in fact everyone is as stressed but most of them conceal their struggles, and that people are not perfect.”
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